Once upon a time, I woke up middle aged and divorced. I called a friend to chat me out of this rut. “What are you up to?” I asked. “I’m signing up for eHarmony.com”, she replied. “What is eHarmony.com?” I asked. And so it began….
I tried eHarmony, but it was a slow process. With it being my first ever online dating experience, I felt like I was learning to ride a bike again…unbalanced and awkward. I had a client that knew how to maneuver all the online dating sites. Her advice – go to Yahoo Personals or Match.com, eHarmony is way too slow. Those sites made me feel like a product in a catalog – pick a pretty picture and send an email. I quit online dating altogether. This was all too overwhelming for me. I needed to take baby steps.
The first man I dated after my divorce was younger than me. In retrospect, he came into my life for a reason, helping me rebuild my self-confidence. In the end, we did not have a lot in common because of the age difference. What I learned: I wanted someone with the same values, someone to have conversations with.
My second dating experience was a co-worker (another Realtor). Need I say more? Lesson learned: NEVER EVER date someone you work with. At this point, I knew it was time to move on…so I got a cat. Just in case you’re wondering, I did not turn into the crazy cat lady! My kids wanted a pet so we got a cat. Meet the new man in my life – Momo, the cat.
A year later we got Zoey, the Australian Shepard.
I took a little break from dating and spent some time with myself. I spent time learning more about me, what I wanted from life, what I wanted from a partner. Most importantly, I forgave myself for my past mistakes and knew that everything was going to be OK. Life was good!
November 2007, I decided to try eHarmony again because it was more private than the other dating sites. If I found someone, great…if not…maybe I will make a friend…or even better, maybe I could sell him a house or get a referral to someone who wanted to sell a house!
Christmas Eve I received a message from a man I probably would never have ever thought I would date, a blonde. I have always been attracted to men with dark hair and dark eyes. OK, so maybe I’ll sell him a house! I responded to his email. We played “You Got Mail” for two months. I learned a lot about him through those emails. I would spend the days eagerly awaiting the next messages. We finally meet February 2008 at Starbucks for coffee. He had potential because he had a job, was my age, could carry on a conversation, similar values and is an awesome cook! What I learned: I wanted someone that could make me laugh and supports me in all my successes and all my failures, someone that I felt safe with. This one makes me laugh every day. He cheers me on when I am winning and hugs me when I lose. Tracy Burnett started out being a friend, turning into my best friend and ending up my husband on April Fool’s Day, 2013. Life is Good (and I’m selling him a house too)!
P.S. I forgot to mention the rest of my new family: